Lawyer Explains Divorce Initiation

Kathryn Wayne-Spindler Answers Question about Divorce Initiation Commerce Township Divorce Lawyer Kathryn Wayne-Spindler explains the Divorce Initiation Process for a West Oakland County Spinal Column Newsweekly Ask An Attorney feature Q: My wife and I have been arguing for years. We’ve tried couples therapy off-and-on. It’s not working and I’m fed up. I need to know how about divorce initiation. What do I do? A: I’m sorry to hear that your marriage has broken down. Even though it’s my job to help people dissolve relationships, I know it’s painful for couples to come to the decision to divorce. Let me say Continue Reading…

Haggard Husband: Considering Divorce

Companion article to “Walkaway Wife: Wants Divorce“ The Haggard Husband is the much-maligned, often underappreciated and misunderstood partner to the Walkaway Wife who may be dissatisfied with marriage and considering divorce. He is worn down by the Walkaway Wife’s frequent demands for emotional attention. He is haggard because of the incessant nagging and relationship game-playing. He feels he is doing his best but not receiving the appreciation he deserves. From his perspective, he may not be getting what he bargained for when he married his sweet, generous bride. And so it is no surprise that the Haggard Husband may be considering Continue Reading…

Ask An Attorney – Emotionally Distant Marriage

White Lake Divorce Attorney Kathryn Wayne-Spindler was recently featured in the Ask An Attorney section of the West Oakland County Spinal Column Newsweekly. She answered a question about divorce options when one or both parties is experiencing emotionally distant marriage. Q: My husband and I just celebrated our 18th anniversary but there wasn’t much to celebrate. We are distant and hardly ever communicate. I’ve tried everything I can think of to reconnect with him. We are still functioning well as a parenting team and household co-managers, but there is nothing emotionally satisfying about our relationship. I’m about done. Is divorce my Continue Reading…

Mindfulness – An Anecdote to Legal Stress

There is much talk in the legal world of stress, alcoholism and depression among young attorneys. Recently, a landmark comprehensive study showed that up to one third of young lawyers may be struggling with alcohol abuse or mental health issues. There are multiple obvious explanations for their level of stress. In article after article, there are reminders for attorneys to see a doctor; meditate; seek mental health treatment; cut back on drinking; exercise; practice yoga or Tai Chi; get a massage; etc. And while all of these suggestions are beneficial for attorneys, many of these stress-producing situations are also present Continue Reading…

After Infidelity: Separation Instead of Divorce

When infidelity in a marriage is uncovered, spouses understandably jump into a hyper-emotional mode that may include emotional pain, guilt, betrayal, mistrust, or defensiveness. For many couples the intense hurt for one and intense passion of the other, make the obstacles of maintaining a marriage seem insurmountable. Bolstered by friends and relatives, the cheated-upon spouse may dive into divorce in response to the pain of betrayal. He or she may be encouraged to believe that divorce is “what you do” after discovering a spouse cheated. For the cheater, thrill of a dalliance may override appreciation for long-term bonds of marriage. Continue Reading…

How Long Should Marriage Counseling Take?

Next to “What does it cost?” and “Does it work?” one of the top considerations of marriage counseling in many people’s mind is, “How long will it take?” This is a natural question. After all, even if the outcome of therapy is positive and fulfilling, the process can be anywhere from awkward or expensive to downright emotionally painful. Therapy forces individuals outside their comfort zones. Clients may be encouraged to address difficult pasts or confront treasured – but destructive – habits. “The idea of counseling is often pretty frightening to people, and the idea of doing those sessions with another person Continue Reading…

Marriage Counseling Specialty Acronyms Translated

Third in a series of blogs about Marriage Counseling from Kathryn Wayne-Spindler & Associates. The first two are: “Marriage Counseling: Does it Work?” and “Marriage Counseling: Which Therapist Suits Your Needs?” The PsychologyToday Therapist Search lists more than 60 Mental Health specialties. Among those of interest to troubled couples might be: Divorce; Domestic Abuse; Domestic Violence; Family Conflict; Parenting; Relationship Issues; Sex Therapy; and Women’s Issues or Men’s Issues. Looking at a marriage-counseling specialty directory, there’s a bewildering stew of acronyms representing specialties and accreditations. Some definitions are intuitive. Many are not. Here’s a guide to some of the more common marriage counseling-related ones: Continue Reading…

Marriage Counseling: Which Couples Therapist Suits Your Needs?

Second in a series of blogs about Marriage Counseling from Kathryn Wayne-Spindler & Associates. The first was “Marriage Counseling: Does it Work?” The terms “Marriage Counseling” and “Couples’ Therapy” are often used interchangeably to indicate the process of spouses working out their problems with the aid of an advisor. In general, therapy is an umbrella definition for any service that addresses mental health issues or social and emotional well-being. Counseling is more narrowly defined to include advice, mediation, refereeing or treatment by a trained professional. Roy Huggins, who is described on his website as, “Counseling and Couples’ Therapy in Downtown Portland,” has Continue Reading…

Marriage Counseling: Does It Work?

First in a series of blogs about marriage counseling. In general, surveys show that marriage counseling has positive benefits. It helps spouses communicate better and recognize each other’s emotional responses. It provides a safe and neutral environment for motivated spouses to work through their problems. Statistics from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and the Chicago Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy report between 70 percent and 98 percent of their clients were satisfied with their results. Although these numbers do not necessarily correlate with marriages saved, very few clients reported marriage counseling making things worse. Realistic Expectations “When many people ask the question ‘does marriage counseling work?’ they Continue Reading…