Can I date? Can you just wait?

Can I Date Before My Divorce is Final?

Many individuals going through a divorce want to start dating again before the divorce is finalized, particularly when the divorce is taking a long time, or when the couple waited to file for divorce. Dating while your divorce is pending is not always a bad thing. Many successful divorcees have dated between the filing and finalization. However, dating before your divorce is final can cause several issues affecting your divorce and child custody. 

One of the biggest issues with dating before divorce is that it may upset your spouse enough that they no longer agree to settle the case amicably. Divorce is already a highly emotional process and introducing a new person into the mix can be the last straw for your spouse. Not only can it be publicly embarrassing for your spouse, but it may even cause your spouse to suspect that you had an affair during the marriage. Once your spouse is no longer willing to settle your divorce amicably, your costs will drastically increase.

Dating before divorce may also negatively affect your children, and ultimately, the child custody aspect of your divorce. Children often struggle to accept that their parents are no longer in love. Often, they look for someone or something to blame. When this happens, the person children regularly blame is the parent who begins dating before the divorce is final. Not only will the children feel like you have moved on too quickly, but they may also feel like you are replacing their parent with someone new, before they have had time to process what’s going on. Dating may also reduce the time you have to spend with children. Not only will this upset your children, but Court’s don’t look fondly on parents who would rather date than work on their parent-child relationship. Ultimately, dating before you’re divorced can make your children angry and can even lead to a reduction in child custody or parenting time.

The struggles of co-parenting can also increase if you begin dating before you’re divorced. Many spouses are uncomfortable with the idea of their children spending time with your new romantic partner. Your spouse may not allow you to see your children if your new partner will be there or may cause enough hostility to make drop-off’s and exchanges unbearable for you and your children.

Ultimately, an amicable divorce is best for you and your children. If you believe dating before your divorce is finalized will cause any hostility between you and your spouse or children, it’s better to wait.

For assistance with your divorce, please contact the Milford, Michigan law office of Kathryn Wayne-Spindler & Associates at 248-676-1000 for a free consultation. Wayne-Spindler regularly reviews clients’ divorce paperwork. She can also help couples keep their attorneys’ fees down by offering mediation or collaborative divorce options. She assists clients with low-cost divorce, child custody, division of assets, alimony, and divorced estate planning. The firm handles cases throughout Southeastern Michigan include the five counties of Oakland, Washtenaw, Wayne, Genesee and Livingston. The experienced attorneys of Kathryn Wayne-Spindler & Associates work with clients in Milford, Highland, Hartland, Commerce, Walled Lake, Waterford, Wixom, Howell, White Lake, New Hudson, Linden, South Lyon, Grand Blanc, Holly and many more local communities.


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